Believe me when I say, am NOT even chuckling!! Rather, am sometimes angry and at the same time saddened that 'migration' is the only way.
But, maybe not all is lost in your case. Fine, don't want to do the big stuff (28 BIG Moodle 1.9.19+ courses) on yet another remote server, but what about using a local machine and do the process steps (copy of the 1.9.19+ site to 2.2.10 migration - backup then restore) there. That's all it's for ... no need to check for total functionality on local. Then scp/ftp those converted backups (.mbz's) to a file system repo for a category and course called 'restores'. Once a backup is in 2 format, it should be 'easier' to restore.
Just how big are these 28 BIG Moodle 1.9.19+ courses? The 1.9.19+ backup zips of them are how large?
Hmmmm anyone interested in a 'conversion service', so to speak? There is a way to remotely host a site (with a QDN of sorts) and remotely access it where even Google can't index it (and one doesn't need a VPN or other such protective measures).
despite it all, still have 'spirit of sharing', Ken